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Welcome to Rest-O-Rust

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Engineer Boyfriends

Engineer Boyfriends are the best:

1: Secure lifestyle

An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27

years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that

gives him high income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life,

and get married and buy a house too. Law graduates are still working

as a lowly apprentice in law firm, most management graduates have just

failed on their first business plan, the arts graduate is still

looking for a job, and the medical school graduate is still living in a hospital.

2: Unmatchable industriousness

An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time

and effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really hard to

understand their work. You can believe that they will try really

really hard to understand women too, just like how they understand

their work, once they believe that you are the one. So even if they

don't understand you initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they

still do not understand, they will figure out the correct method to

keep you happy ( e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of happiness.)

And once they find out the secret formula, they will just keep on

repeating it so that the desired results appear. Unlike the Lawyer who

will argue with you, the Management graduate who will try to control

your spending, the Arts graduate who will 'change major', and the

medical school graduate who will operate on you. And you know what,

it's really so easy to make engineers believe that you are the 'one'.

Say that you like one of their projects and they will be hooked to you forever.

3: An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust.

Let me first tell you what is wrong with the rest of the others - the

lawyers will lie about everything, management graduates will cheat

your money, the arts graduate will flirt, and you probably just look

like another cadaver to the medical school graduate. Your engineer

boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does,

he is too dumb to lie to you about that.

Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever

find - rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you,

has no time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to you.

Conclusion: Engineerz rule !

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Designations & Definitions

Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.

Execution Manager is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.

Site Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants baby.

Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

HR Manager is a person who thinks that a donkey can deliver a human baby in given 9 months.

Planning Manager is a person they don’t need to know the PROCESS and they will make a plan to produce a child with out man and woman.

Procurement Manager thinks they don’t care whether the child can be delivered by the man or women; they will place the order who has quoted less price.

Vendor is a person who always supplies animals and thinks that execution manager can deliver a human baby.

Resource Manager thinking they don’t need a man or woman; they will produce a child with zero resource.

Quality Manager is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.

Safety Manager is the person who always insists use the protection aids during the PROCESS to produce the baby with out knowing the PROCESS.

Documentation team thinks they don’t care whether the child delivered or not, they will document 9 months.

Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce the baby.
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